Sleeping's Christmas party
by Norsehound
Summary: So, who thought sleeping was gone for good? *Raise hands* okay, well what did sleeping do during Chrismas? Obviously, this is the answer.


"HEY!"  
"What?"  
Sleeping, the Powerful Bed Deception, shrugged, "I dunno. How do we start fictions again?"  
Fubar shrugged, "You're the mastermind. You've done this what, fourteen times now?"  
"... Anyway, RAISE YOUR HANDS IF YOU THOUGHT SLEEPING WASN'T COMING BACK!"  
Silence.  
"....Uh, Sleeping, you realize the Reviewers can't really raise their hands so we can see them..."  
"Oh...right," Replied the bed, "Well anyway, we MEANT to do a Halloween bash, but NORSEHOUND WAS LAZY! And he didn't get his butt in gear-"  
"No, I AM LAZY!!!" Screams a plush sofa as it transforms into LAZY the Predicon!  
"Hey, I see possibilities..." Said Sleeping but then waved it off, "Anyway, now that we have threatened to burn down the place that he's currently having his mindset in, we've finally come back to do a fic. And since Decepticons don't really do Thanksgiving-"  
"-Yeah, because do you know what happened the last time we tried to make a turkey dinner?" Asked Fubar.  
"Eh...what happened again?"  
"The Turkey was so grotesque and mutated we had to chase it around the base before Devestator killed it with a 2x4 jammed in it's nose. And then everyone else got the idea to try and use laserbeak as the turkey...."  
"...Who's idea was that?"  
"Well since we let Slag lead that party-"  
"Don't remind me..." Muttered Sleeping and then went on, "That was a while back folks, and in a fic we didn't publish...eheh ANYWAY! We have the Christmas party Bash thingamambober to finish BEFORE Christmas so people can READ it!"  
"Yeah." Replied Fubar, "And maybe Snafu can finally show up."  
"....You guys on FF.net don't know who Snafu is yet," Smiled Sleeping, "He's another combiner that Norse had been juggling for a while but never got around to putting in."  
"Hey Sleeping, how can you smile?"  
"EH what STOP PICKING ON ME!"  
  
The Rave dome, now covered in snow and with flashy christmas lights strung all over it, had a very large sign on the top.  
-But instead of Demonstrator it was Rumble and Frenzy waving the large sighn.  
"HA HA!" Laughed Rumble.  
Frenzy went on, "Who was expecting Demonstrator!?"  
But the sign said various things;  
  
SLEEPING'S CHRISTMAS PARTY  
Or  
THE DAY SLEEPING BEAT UP THAT FAT RED OLD PERSON...  
We mean  
THE DAY DECEPTICONS ARE GOOD (Wait, that's an oxymoron isn't it! But then again this whole sleeping thing is an Oxymoron anyway....)  
THE FIC WHERE MEGATRON TRIES TO IMPERSONATE SANTA CLAUSE  
(Just then Megatron waved his fist and tore the santa-clause costume from his person and slammed the door in his shrubbery wherehouse)  
OR  
*WHACK*  
  
This whole concept of Sleeping and his crazy adventures was conceived by NORSEHOUND! Who has been hit in the head ever since he started writing this thing and has since seen the doctor and is all better now :D  
NOT! D  
  
...But Transformers ins't mine. (Drat!) Otherwise, Sleeping Action figures would be sold everywhere (Who wants one!?!?!) And to avoid any confusion, Jerry Swindle is used with permission. No he isn't a creation of mine, just a friend known as Master Fwiffo. For some reason his account got banned, and I wanted to make this clear in the event that this series was responsible. (Hope not. Sorry Fwiff!)  
  
Ah Christmas. Many, many things happened when Snow was around....  
Snowball fights, Snowcastles, Boyscouts running around and tossing one another into large snow banks, and most importantly-  
"SNOBOARDING!!!! MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAH!"  
A small crew of Decepticons raced down the hill with various objects; Rumble was on a board, Ravage was riding a pair of Skis, Frenzy hissed on his own sled, Tankor laughed as he rode the huge Disk, and Thrust rode an upside-down Grindor Minicon down the slope.  
"See! Grindor DOES have a use!"  
The team of Decepticons raced down the mountain and bashed through the Tonka Transformer's winder wonderland, going through castles and constructs that didn't matter to the rest of the story.  
Then Tankor asked, "Who ever thought the Tonka Transformers would get into a Sleepingfic!?"  
Their destination was the Rave Dome, which was just opening to admit people in to the massive Christmas party.  
At the dome already were a number of people.  
"Okay, so where's Sleeping?" Asked Starscream.  
Devestator replied, "He's coming over from the base. Says he's got some new recruit or something."  
"It's Snafu isn't it?"  
"....How did you know?"  
Starscream pointed, "It's in the title for cryin' out loud!"  
"....Oh yeah...."  
Then the Decepticon party showed up and gave high-fives and all that-  
"Where have you guys been?"  
"Eh...Snowboarding!" Chimed Tankor.  
"Well get your chrome plates in the dome!" Cried Starscream, "We just opened and we need some guys at the snack bar until Omega supreme shows up!"  
"...Why?" Asked Rumble.  
"Well...because you don't I'll get Megatron to come over and play."  
"...Wait, the Shrubbier?" Asked Tankor.  
"Me." Answered the Armada Megatron with his arms crossed.  
"YES SIR!" Saluted the bunch as they ran into the dome to do some work.  
  
"Hey Swindle, it's nice of you-"  
"Can it Soundwave." Said Swindle and pointed, "You still gotta get on MY show! A vacation can only go on for so long."  
"Hey," Shrugged Soundwave, "Crash Sleeping not me."  
"Whatever." Shrugged Swindle, "Now, what should we put on?"  
"How about this one?" Asked Soundwave as he handed the talkshow host a CD.  
"What's this?"  
The CD squeaked.  
"Hey!"  
The CD transformed and flew off.  
"Not again...."  
Just then a miniature racecar stopped and transformed, "Hi!"  
"Who are you?"  
The small red Minicon thumbed at himself, "I'm Swindle! And since I'm thinking in comic format, I can talk!"  
"Awesome." Hummed Soundwave.  
Jerry Swindle was in tears, "Aww, it's MINI-SWINDLE!"  
"Yeah!" Cried the Minicon and asked, "So, what's the plan?"  
As the DJ crew filled in the racecar on the events, a new Combiner showed up with Sleeping.  
"Hey cool!" Said Snafu.  
Sleeping replied, "Yeah, this is the dome. Anyway, we're just getting warmed up so just hang around and make sure nobody tries to crash the party."  
"...?"  
"..."  
"?"  
"Hey!" Pointed Starscream, "You, new dude, get moving at the security! Devastator will fill you in!"  
"Yessir!" Saluted Snafu as he took off- and rammed into a pillar.  
Sleeping slapped his forehead and looked around at the party.  
  
AN hour into getting things started people had showed up and already the party was rolling....however it had yet to be decided in what direction.... (Not that that makes any sense, but anyhow...)  
Then the doorbell knocked.  
"HEY GUYS! WE GOTTA GUEST!" Cried Announcer, the Decepticon that can turn into any sort of speaker...except the huge Speakers now resting somewhere on the west coast.  
In came the Armada Characters.  
"Woa!" Cried one of the three kids, "This looks cool!!"  
"*" Beeped GRIND-0r (Yes this is intentional)  
Optimus walked in and looked around, "Hey, weren't we better animated ten minutes ago?"  
"Huh! Optimus Prime, I see your're still going by the TV show animation!" Chuckled the cool and otherwise shiny Armada Megatron as he pointed, "Simple! Think in the ways of the comics!"  
"Why?" Asked one of the kids.  
"Because you brat, once he does you three will be gone and the Minicons can talk!" Said the Armada Starscream, who sounded just like the G1 version since he was in Comic format and ANYONE can voice a comic....(Including dead people!) anyway-  
As Megatron pointed and insulted the Autobot leader (Mostly about how LATE his toy issue was and how he could only put TWO mini-cons on his body)  
  
"What are you talking about?" Asked Devestator as he turned to Astrotrain.  
"Um...I'm on the phone here..." Said Astrotrain and spoke into the tiny Cell-phone, "Yes...Yes I understand....no....no I'm confused...yes...Will you stop contradicting yourself...listen, listen just Shut up and don't call me back EVER."  
And Astrotrain lowered the phone and accidentally crushed it with his index finger, "Aw shoot....sixteenth one today."  
"Maybe you should invest in a bigger phone. Now will you help me over here?" Devestator asked as he hung up the decoration in the main entry to the rave dome and stepped back to admire it with Astrotrain.  
"I gotta admit, Reflector has mad carving skills." Nodded Astrotrain.  
Devestator pointed out, "Reflector IS a Mad skill. What can't he do?"  
"Er....make pasta."  
"Well...that's four months ago."  
"So? Anyway, It still looks cool."  
The decoration on display just happened to be the likeness of Megatron...in Santa costume with a smile and riding a small sled with two reindeer..., captured so that it would strike fear, intimidation, and the sensation of wanting popcorn all at the same time.  
"Y'know, I'm seeing marketing possibilities here."  
  
Meanwhile the rave party was still well under way.  
Minicons had arrived en-masse, and several posers (I.e. Gobots) Tried to enter but were ruthlessly defeated by the swarming Technicolor Ratbat clones that hung in the rafters.  
...Brak tried to get in too but his pass wasn't valid.  
But the party seemed to be going along quite well without some people.  
Obsidian in particular...  
But anyway.  
  
"-And my toy is green and yours isn't! Muahahah!" Laughed Megatron.  
Then Optimus came back, "You were wrong about the comics, Megatron! The kids have already been in it!"  
And then Optimus thought in terms of the comics.  
"Hey! I can talk now!" Chimed GRIND-0r.  
But then Megatron hammered his foot into the skateboard and GRIND-0r was no more.  
"...I'm sorry I didn't hear that..." Replied Megatron.  
Optimus balled his fists, "How dare you Megatron! That Minicon was innocent of everything!"  
"Well...he was in the animation wasn't he?" Smiled Megatron and glared at the kids, "And what about you three?"  
Then a Couch bounced over and transformed into COMFY! "Hey everybody! Lookit! Kids! Say you guys, are you over eighteen!?"  
"What?" Asked one of the kids.  
"Sorry guys, if you don't have a special pretty BLUE form from Norsehound and you guys aren't over eighteen you get the boot!"  
The kids looked at one another and Optimus asked, "Can't I vouch for them?"  
"Funny thing really see the thing is- you can't! Because Somebody already vetoed them! I don't think the guys in security were paying attention but...you kids are on the Banned list!"  
"What?"  
"Big green here put you there, on the grounds that you're a dangerous influence to the Transformer story! Heck, he even rounded up a bunch of nameless extras and got them to petition that they don't ever show up in a Sleepingfic unless we bash 'em!"  
Prime, with his shocked face in horror (Well...his eyes) Looked at Megatron, "How dare you Megatron!"  
Megatron smirked, "Why are you so surprised Optimus? Not even Norsehound likes them. And what the author says-"  
"Not since he went underground," Replied Comfy with a permanent smile, "Norse's cut back on a lot this year. He's hanging around in some anime called Love hina and he's been there for the past six weeks! Hell, if you guys didn't threaten to burn down the house he wouldn't be doing this! In fact, he'd beat your brains out otherwise!"  
The listeners blinked in confusion.  
"Well the point is-" Smiled Comfy, "That What the Author says doesn't really matter anymore. Sorry big green."  
"Ha!" Laughed Optimus, "I win and you loose!"  
"But then again Norsehound never liked the kids and in this instance he supports Megatron!"  
"HA!" Laughed Megatron and pointed, "INTRUDERS!"  
A loud siren went off and the Technicolor ratbats swarmed from the rafters.  
"AH! THEY STING!" Called one of the kids.  
"NO! GOOD TRANSFORMERS!!! AHH!!!"  
Needless to say the kids were chased out of the dome and into a freezing lake- where they were turned into ice cubes.  
"YAY!!!" Cheered the dome before returning to business.  
"I like pie!"  
  
Elsewhere in the rave party, Starscream had assembled a small group of his own clones.  
Aside from the Sleeping version and his G1 Counterpart, the Starscream from Armada had come and joined them, as well as Starscream's ghost from Beast wars.  
But coming in was another Starscream...one to appear only in the comic world.  
This Star Scream was much cooler looking, and only Cybertron-bound.  
"Yes?" Asked the new Comic Starscream, "So...you're everybody else?"  
"Yes," Answered the Armada Starscream, "Swindle's gone off to the DJ shack...."  
"I noticed." Replied the Starscream from the war within comics as he grinned in his shadowed body, "And Megatron is still pressing Prime about how the comics are so much cooler."  
"Heh..." Laughed the G1 version, "Prime will never give in. He's stubborn."  
"And he's not as well animated either." Frowned Starscream's ghost.  
The War within Starscream cracked a smile, "So who here brought the whip cream and water balloons?"  
  
In another part of the dome Omega Supreme had taken lead of the snack bar and promptly removed the groups of Minicons loitering around the punch bowls.  
"If you want punch ask for it. Don't dunk your head in the bowl."  
"So...fun...." Sonar remarked as he and the other Star Saber teams walked off in a daze.  
Omega supreme looked in the punch and then at a now-present Ruble and Frenzy.  
"Okay you two what did you do to the punch THIS time?"  
  
Somewhere else several Transformers thought it would be a good idea to pick up Ratchet and run out of the room for no apparent reason other then they could.  
Another random thing happened when spontanesouly Wheeljack made plans for the first fan created Autobot Transformer....modeled after a slice of cheese.  
But still, the Rave continued with other random events of a more noteworthy nature....  
  
"No I will NOT be used as a tennis ball!" Complained the Drone.  
Tankor, Armorhide, Ironhide, Thrust, Dirge, and Ramjet were standing with rackets.  
"Are you sure?"  
"YES I AM POSITIVE!" Replied the Drone, "I will not be slammed back and forth between two teams for sport and competition!"  
"...No we'd be playing without a court, and we're betting how many times we can hit you so that you can remain aloft." Smiled Tankor.  
"....Uh-oh...AH!"  
"GO LONG!" Called Thrust as he, Dirge, and Ramjet raced after the drone with the tanks behind them.  
  
"Well," Sleeping said as he looked over the whole scene, "Looks like mayhem hasn't arrived yet, so maybe this might be a normal party after-"  
"'Scuse me sir, but Mayhem just arrived." Announced one of the minion Transformer underlings of the Decepticons, "He wanted to tell you that he brought the lemon juice for the party."  
"Lemon Juice? Since when did we ask for lemon-"  
The Transformer shrugged, "Don't ask me sir...he also gives you this for a Christmas present."  
"Oh thank you nameless." Replied Sleeping as he took the parcel from the Decepticon and unwrapped it, "A brick?"  
But it hopped out of his hand and transformed into Beep the Minicon.  
"*Beep*!"  
"Hey that's cute!...So what is this?"  
"A Minicon sir..."  
"MINICON!!!" Called Megatron and Optimus Prime from Armada.  
"A Minicon!" the Armada Starscream shouted.  
"A MINICON!!!" Called the Armada Autobots.  
"A MinicoN!!?!?!" Shouted the fans.  
"A Minicon!!" Hissed the pessimists.  
"Worlble." Sounded the Propellerhead UFOs as they floated over the crowd.  
Soundwave turned to swindle, "Is it just me or is there an echo in here?"  
"How the hell should I know!?" Asked Swindle as he held the X-Box controller and turned back to Halo.  
"Aminicon!Ohboyohboyohboy!!" Rambled Blur before being slammed by the War Within Grimlock.  
Wheelie was about to say something but was run over by the Armada Megatron as the Armada cast ran for Beep.  
"BEEP!!"  
The Armada Characters were suddenly ablaze with fire.  
"AHHH!!! IT BURNS!!!" Screamed Megatron as he ran outside with the other Armada Decepticons into the snow...followed closely by the Autobots.  
Starscream laughed diobolicaly as he burned in the fire, "Yes, Now I am TRUE INTIMIDATION!!!!"  
Sleeping had a very big Sweatdrop over his head.  
"....Wow...."  
"*Beep!*"  
"Hey, I need a Minicon too! Whaddya say buddy, partners?"  
"*Beep!*"  
"Yesh! Now I can kick ___!!"  
"What's with the blank spot?" Blitzwing asked as he walked by.  
"What? Damn censers...ah well. Beep, come my minion! Let's find Strika!"  
"*Beep!*"  
  
At the door Norsehound entered.  
"Norsehound!" Announced Devastator, "What a surprise, we thought you were off in some other anime thing-"  
"Vacation yes." Norsehound replied as he shouldered a very large blade, "But I've been playing Warcraft three too so It kinda rubbed off on me."  
"So what ARE you doing here?" Inquired Fubar.  
"Well Reason one is because I heard the punch here is to die for. Two, because I want to see how thins thing Is going on and three, I'm here to take out Skellitor if he shows his face in here."  
"Why do you want to bash Skellitor?"  
Norsehound raised the picture of Skellitor in the Luke Skywalker costume.  
"My....Lord...."  
"Yeah well it happened in the Halloween party. We can't let him get away with it, so I've come here to bash him if he walks in."  
"...We can do that here sir..."  
"Oh,....right....well anyway, Predicus wanted to come to so I gave him a lift."  
"In what?" Asked Devestator as Predicus walked in, "What can carry something that big?"  
Norsehound pointed and they looked outside to see a very large Airship parked.  
"...Where did that come from?"  
"An original series I'm working on. 'Corse Predicus had to hang out on the trip here but ah well...now where's the nachos?"  
  
Near the stage, Reflector was once again busting out insane dance moves...all at once with his three parts. Again an audience had come to watch.  
"My God, who can spin on their head for THAT long!?" Asked Prowl.  
"Beats me," Answered the War Within Bumblebee, "But somebody's gotta stop him."  
"I will." Spoke a voice as the Beast Machines version three Megatron stepped up and smiled.  
"You? What the hell can you do?"  
"You're a dragon!"  
"And a head..."  
"Silence!" Rumbled the BW Megatron with the other two versions behind him, "I will NOT loose! Reflector, prepare to meet your doom!!"  
All three or Reflector shrugged, "Bring it on old man!"  
"Old man!" Repeated Magetron, "Then what does that make you!?"  
Reflector looked at himself and answered with OK signs on their hands, "A Mad Skill."  
"Gh! How dare you insult me!"  
"MY GOD!!! REFLECTOR SPOKE HIS FIRST LINES IN A SLEEPING FIC!!!"  
  
  
WARNING: The below is an abridged version of the Gamer's language Leet, otherwise spelt 1337. Until I learn the full language, all the below is guesswork.  
  
"\/\/3 [4/\/ 1n6u17 U 1/\/ 63/\/\: 1337!!!"  
"How dare you speak 1337!!" Rumbled Megatron.  
"74\3 7/*\47!!"  
"I did not come here to speak 1337! I came to defeat you in dancing! So, DANCE!!"  
And so the battle of the dance began.  
  
In another part of the dance floor Starscream was plotting with himself.  
"So," Voiced the Sleeping version, "What's the plan?"  
"Well I think we should start with knocking over Megatron." Smirked the Armada Starscream, "He's ALLWAYS been the Villain in ALL the American versions of Transformers!"  
"Yes," Smirked the G1 Version, "We should rid ourselves of this menace!"  
"Agreed," Smiled the War Within version, "But how should we do this best? And after we rid ourselves of Megatron, then what do we do?"  
"We could knock over sleeping!" Hissed the Armada version.  
The G1 and Sleeping versions hit him.  
"You FOOL!!" Rumbled the War Within version, "Sleeping has gotten us more income than we could ever hope to invasion!? Why waste him when we can have him as an excellent second-in-command!?"  
"True," Said the Armada one as he wiped oil from his lip and stood, "I see...but what will our plan be? We can't conquer anything..."  
"Yes we can," Smiled the G1 Version and rubbed his hands together, "There's always domination of internet worlds..."  
"...Are you suggesting we become gamers!?" Demanded Starscream's Ghost.  
"NO" Answered the G1 Version, "Simple, we raid Microsoft and rid Bill gates of his....cooperate duties..."  
"Didn't we do that already?"  
"NO!" Replied the G1 version and turned, "We'll do it again because we CAN!"  
"Why not take over Cybertron and turn it into a gigantic night club?" Suggested the War Within one.  
The other Starscreams looked at him.  
"...Never thought of that," Smirked the Sleeping version as he rubbed his chin.  
  
Lazy continued to run after the Minicons as they played Laser Tag in one of the corners of the rave party until Devestator told them to stop using the local diezins for cover. Omega Supreme had a situation on his hands when Mum-Rah and Cobra commander started arguing over which nacho covering was better- Cheese or Ranch.  
Then all hell came loose (Well...outside the norm) when Megatron's red spark once again came loose.  
"NOT AGAIN!!!" The Floating head cried and floated after the red spark- with over half the other bored transformers giving chase.  
  
At the gates some strange aliens were being admitted.  
"Oh you're the guys who landed here yesterday!" Recalled Devestator.  
The Covenant looked up at him and then their watches.  
For those of you who have not played the X-Box game Halo, the covenant are a group of aliens who hate humanity. This particular bunch didn't want to get blasted to pixels, so they rebelled and came to the real world.  
Bob, the pint-sized Grunt with environmental gear, called, "Yep! We got fr33 tickets!"  
"Ruk Sp34k 1337!!" Said the massive hunter with blue armor and an otherwise angry complextion (Except this one.)  
"Well you guys aren't on the Don't list, so come on in!" Replied Devestator.  
"Yay!" Cheered the meter-tall Grunts as they lead the group running into the Rave Dome.  
  
But moments later the power went out.  
"Aww man!" Called Sleeping as he picked up the phone, "Hello, power company? Why did you cut our power? What do you mean, Christmas is over? God, we were in the middle of a rave party!....Yeah I know..."  
Sleeping hung up and addressed the readers, "Well folks, it seems that because Christmas was a while back and Norsehound procrastinated BIG TIME on finishing this fic, we have to end it now.  
"But don't worry, we're getting around to negotiating our way back in! Oh, and those covvie guys...for all the Halo fans out there they've just become our business partners...eheh....so expect a Halo version with Bob the Grunt running around...."  
"SLEEPING!!! NOOOOO!!!!"  
"Oh damn, that was a business secret wasn't it? So I guess all that talk about the Lord of the Rings spoof-"  
  
END SHORT PARTY  
(Probably gonna be another one...) 


End file.
